The pain may subside, tears may have dried, I try to smile but the sadness never goes away. People pass me on the street and out eyes briefly meet. They hold the door open for me as I enter behind them.I say thanks, but they have no idea that my mind is blank. In the elevator they crack a joke, I flash a smile, they have no idea that my heart is in denial. I talk to my mom everyday to give her support & tell her that it’s all going to be okay. She asks me how my day was and I say fine. She has no idea that my brain and I are arguing to if I should cross the line. I tell my friends that I’m doing good as nobody likes a sad person. I smile so that’s what people see on my face, they think that I’m happy but deep down inside I feel like everything is falling apart. Everyone supports you for a while & then they all get busy in their lives. And then loneliness surrounds you. You want to hold tight to something that will help you once again enjoy the journey into lives amazing treks. You want to feel that every day can be better than the last.
You want to turn your empty feeling into a thing of your past….
You look good from outside but your heart silently screams. Will it ever go away? Will everything be okay? Will I ever have a heartfelt laugh?