Life is unpredictable, are you prepared?

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Life is unpredictable and death is inevitable, but knowing this alone doesn’t make it any easier to endure the loss of a loved one. For those who have recently lost a loved one, the intensity of their pain may be indescribable, unlike anything they have ever experienced before. Well, why am I talking about death suddenly? The sudden and unfortunate demise of a senior scientist in our institute made me think about it. I was reminded about the anxiety we experienced when we got the news about my dad’s accident. And since then, there hasn’t been a single day when I don’t thank God for gifting his life.

It makes me wonder, how fragile human life is. We make plans for future not knowing whether we will see the next day. It usually never goes the way we plan or would like it to go. We existed moment to moment, never knowing who would be the next one to leave this world. Life is uncertain; it changes along with every individual. Today we have, tomorrow we may not have, so be thankful for the good we have, no matter how tiny it is. And don’t ever get too comfortable and lazy; always be ready for a change. Do what you plan to do as soon as you plan it.

I used to call my dad every morning before going to office and in the evening after coming from office. On the day of his accident, I couldn’t reach him. His cell phone was switched off. I thought he might be in Operation Theater; otherwise he never turns off his phone. I called him again in the night after dinner but couldn’t connect to him. I thought I will call him tomorrow morning and slept not knowing what is happening to my dad on the other end. When I couldn’t reach him the next day also, I called up my mom to find out about his whereabouts, she told me his phone got damaged and he has given it for repairing. Somehow I couldn’t trust that because I know my dad, it is very unlikely of him. He never misses a day not talking to me. But I was too scared to ask Mom. My heart knew something was wrong but I didn’t have the courage to ask. I just kept quiet praying to god to keep my dad safe. Finally after 3 days, I lost my patience and asked my little sister about it and she broke in tears, I couldn’t bear it and I disconnected the call and closed my eyes hoping that it might be a nightmare and I would wake up soon to an entirely normal world. But how harsh it may sound, it was the truth. I took the first flight and reached hospital where my dad was admitted. Since that day I have been waiting for my father to get well so that I can tell him how much I love him which I have always felt but never said it the way I feel it.

Today, during the condolence meeting of our dear mentor, I was reminded about the whole incident. And I could feel the pain of his family, though what I experienced is far less than the pain his family is going through. And I thought no one deserves this, no one deserves to die because it is more painful for the loved ones than the person who leaves the world, leaving behind people crying for them. However, can we control life, no we can’t. All we can do is to live each moment as if it’s our last day so that we don’t have any regrets in the end. Don’t waste another minute on the people, places and things that don’t make you happy. Don’t save your happiness for the future. Life has many unpredictable moments, many paths and memorable times. So enjoy the surprises, explore new paths and cherish the memories. And most important of all; start communicating your feelings. If you love someone tell them right away, you may not get another chance. If you wish to do something, start today. Live each moment, live life.

I feel guilty…

After coming back from work yesterday, I changed and sat with a cup of coffee. I called mom as I have not been able to talk to her properly for past couple of days due to my busy work schedule. Her voice was very low when she picked up the phone. I asked her what’s wrong mom and she burst into tears. Nothing new happened, well that is her disappointment that nothing new has happened. Dad is still recovering, her life still lies in hope and she is deeply and sadly disappointed with life and why is it unfair to her. How do I tell you mom, it’s not unfair, dad is still with us and he is on the road of recovery. How many people do we hear survive such severe accident? Well, I’m not saying it should have happened but this is life, it’s always unexpected. I’m glad with the fact that he is with us in one piece. I, to my own surprise, shouted at her for being sad all the time. I can’t do it, I need support too, and I need my mom and my dad. I disconnected the call and involuntarily tears rolled down my cheeks. How do I tell her that I’m not angry? I just can’t bear her pain and shouting is my defense. How do I tell her that I understand her pain? My way of coping up is not thinking about it too much and just keeping faith that God will take care of us. Sitting, thinking and crying damages my heart and soul. I asked her to do the same several times but I guess every person is different. It might be her way of coping up. I just pray to God give her strength. I feel guilty for shouting at her.

Meet n Greet!

A very good initiative. Hope you meet many more amazing people.

Dream Big, Dream Often

By the time you read this I will have been on the road for several hours!!  We have talked recently about the importance of networking and meeting new people, so here’s your chance.  Feel free to leave a link to your blog post or page and a little info about yourself in the comments and then reblog!  Great way to network.

For those of my readers that are not bloggers take a few moments and scan the links in the comments as there are so many talented writers on WordPress.  One of my favorite things about WP is it serves as a social platform allowing me to discover so many talented individuals!

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I have never done this before, but figured what better way to spend a Sunday than helping others expand their readership??!!  After all, I met so many of you through a similar meet n greet on OM’s page…

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I beat Cancer and I’m proud survivor.

When I was done with my follow-up tests few days ago and it came out be negative, I feel calm though I was never nervous in the first place. I just sat and recalled my days to chemotherapy. I have come a long way since then, 7 years in all. When I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, which is a type of blood cancer, I was just a teenager 15 years old. I knew nothing about cancer back then, just read it in books or heard it on Television. My parents never told me thinking that I will be horrified; they told me that I have got some infection which has caused the lump. I knew they were lying but I pretended to believe them to give them a little relief. I somehow managed to look at my initial diagnosis reports and I searched it online and read and try to understand whatever I could. Being a biology student helped to understand a little better. For reasons unknown, I was not scared. I was just worried about my parents; I could see stress, sadness on their face all the time though they try hard not to reveal it to me. The horrified look on my little siblings, they didn’t knew what was wrong with me; they just knew something was and it definitely didn’t look good. They all try to be strong in front of me and so were I. Throughout my treatment that went on for 1 year; my entire family lived a nightmare. My dad used to come and sit beside me whole night looking at me & may be crying assuming that I’m asleep. I let him believe that. I didn’t want him to feel weak, he is my strong hero & I knew he would save me. My mother on the other hand is quite emotional; I hear her crying in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the living room and everywhere. I used to joke around her saying, Mom I’m going to be okay, you won’t get rid of me so soon & she used to faek-slap me trying hard to make angry face and then used to hug me tightly. The IV drips used to be painful, I could feel the drugs rushing through my veins but I never cried or flinched because I knew my parents can’t bear my pain. I used to smile at my mom. I heard the nurses saying, your daughter is such a pretty doll with a brave heart. And I could see adoration, love, fear, sadness, all emotions together in my dad’s eyes and he used to give a weak smile to the sweet nurse. Since the Chemo affects the immunity badly, I developed many secondary infections during my treatment much more painful than the treatment itself. I don’t know from where I got the strength but I never cried. I started to lose weight, used to look pale & my hair stared falling. Half way through the cycle, the doctors advised to cut my hair short as anyways I’m going to lose them all. I loved my hair; I had beautiful silky waist-length hair. My friends used to call them Rapunzel’s hair. It was during the 6 or 7th month when Dad came to my room, sat near my bed stroking my forehead. He said, you are my brave daughter and you will always look beautiful but we need to cut your hair, they will grow back, don’t you worry. I didn’t say anything, just went with him to his room. When he started, I realized he was shaving my head; I closed my eyes tightly and tried to swallow back the lump in my throat. When he was done, he hugged me. I went straight to my room, locked it from inside and wept like I never did before. Now it sounds so foolish but I still remember what I felt back then. I thought I have become the ugliest girl; no one would ever love me. How will I go to college, no one would talk to me. I didn’t see anyone for 6 months, not any relatives not my friends though they insisted a lot. After my treatment was over, it was time to get back on my life. It took forever for my parents to convince me to join college as I already lost one year after my school. I got admission in a college in another state altogether; I was so scared to leave home. I somehow did and started my college. I dad bought me a wig which I used to wear 24*7 afraid to take it off thinking that people might laugh at me. One day my roommate found out, I was shocked and surprised at her reaction. She was so kind and caring and she told me, you shouldn’t be ashamed you are such a beautiful girl and whatever happened was not your fault and she never forced me to tell anything unless I want to share. I felt a little relieved. Though it took a year or so to regain my lost confidence and eventually my hair grew back. I adopted a short bob cut afraid to grow them longer. Time passed and so did my fears. I feel much stronger, confident and proud about myself. I survived it and now I’m all hail & hearty. I’m a survivor and learnt that we can be beautiful in any form; it’s just a state of mind. Which was once my fear is now my reason to live, to work for the cure of cancer and seeing little kids here with cancer reminds me of my time and I’m more determined than ever to do something, whatever little I can do and that is why my job is not work for me, it is my passion and I enjoy it as it gives meaning to my life.

When I was done with my follow-up tests few days ago and it came out be negative, I feel calm though I was never nervous in the first place. I just sat and recalled my days to chemotherapy. I have come a long way since then, 7 years in all. When I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, which is a type of blood cancer, I was just a teenager 15 years old. I knew nothing about cancer back then, just read it in books or heard it on Television. My parents never told me thinking that I will be horrified; they told me that I have got some infection which has caused the lump. I knew they were lying but I pretended to believe them to give them a little relief. I somehow managed to look at my initial diagnosis reports and I searched it online and read and try to understand whatever I could. Being a biology student helped to understand a little better. For reasons unknown, I was not scared. I was just worried about my parents; I could see stress, sadness on their face all the time though they try hard not to reveal it to me. The horrified look on my little siblings, they didn’t knew what was wrong with me; they just knew something was and it definitely didn’t look good. They all try to be strong in front of me and so were I. Throughout my treatment that went on for 1 year; my entire family lived a nightmare. My dad used to come and sit beside me whole night looking at me & may be crying assuming that I’m asleep. I let him believe that. I didn’t want him to feel weak, he is my strong hero & I knew he would save me. My mother on the other hand is quite emotional; I hear her crying in the bathroom, in the kitchen, in the living room and everywhere. I used to joke around her saying, Mom I’m going to be okay, you won’t get rid of me so soon & she used to faek-slap me trying hard to make angry face and then used to hug me tightly. The IV drips used to be painful, I could feel the drugs rushing through my veins but I never cried or flinched because I knew my parents can’t bear my pain. I used to smile at my mom. I heard the nurses saying, your daughter is such a pretty doll with a brave heart. And I could see adoration, love, fear, sadness, all emotions together in my dad’s eyes and he used to give a weak smile to the sweet nurse. Since the Chemo affects the immunity badly, I developed many secondary infections during my treatment much more painful than the treatment itself. I don’t know from where I got the strength but I never cried. I started to lose weight, used to look pale & my hair stared falling. Half way through the cycle, the doctors advised to cut my hair short as anyways I’m going to lose them all. I loved my hair; I had beautiful silky waist-length hair. My friends used to call them Rapunzel’s hair. It was during the 6 or 7th month when Dad came to my room, sat near my bed stroking my forehead. He said, you are my brave daughter and you will always look beautiful but we need to cut your hair, they will grow back, don’t you worry. I didn’t say anything, just went with him to his room. When he started, I realized he was shaving my head; I closed my eyes tightly and tried to swallow back the lump in my throat. When he was done, he hugged me. I went straight to my room, locked it from inside and wept like I never did before. Now it sounds so foolish but I still remember what I felt back then. I thought I have become the ugliest girl; no one would ever love me. How will I go to college, no one would talk to me. I didn’t see anyone for 6 months, not any relatives not my friends though they insisted a lot. After my treatment was over, it was time to get back on my life. It took forever for my parents to convince me to join college as I already lost one year after my school. I got admission in a college in another state altogether; I was so scared to leave home. I somehow did and started my college. I dad bought me a wig which I used to wear 24*7 afraid to take it off thinking that people might laugh at me. One day my roommate found out, I was shocked and surprised at her reaction. She was so kind and caring and she told me, you shouldn’t be ashamed you are such a beautiful girl and whatever happened was not your fault and she never forced me to tell anything unless I want to share. I felt a little relieved. Though it took a year or so to regain my lost confidence and eventually my hair grew back. I adopted a short bob cut afraid to grow them longer. Time passed and so did my fears. I feel much stronger, confident and proud about myself. I survived it and now I’m all hail & hearty. I’m a survivor and learnt that we can be beautiful in any form; it’s just a state of mind. Which was once my fear is now my reason to live, to work for the cure of cancer and seeing little kids here with cancer reminds me of my time and I’m more determined than ever to do something, whatever little I can do and that is why my job is not work for me, it is my passion and I enjoy it as it gives meaning to my life.

THE LIEBSTER AWARD

liebster1

I’m honored to be nominated for the Liebester award by a wonderful women, http://grubbsncritters.com/aboutann-2. I’m grateful to Ann for acknowledging my blog. It’s  a great motivation to write more and write better when your fellow bloggers appreciate you. Thank you so much Ann for the nomination.

The Liebster Award: It has German origins – the word “liebster” has several definitions: dearest, sweetest, kindest, nicest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, welcome and sweetheart. It follows similar principles as a chain letter, in the sense that it should be passed forward to a certain number of people. It is said that the Liebster award was created to recognize and/or discover new bloggers with less than 300 followers and welcome them to the blogosphere.  In the digital world of the internet, this seems like a nice gesture, in my opinion!

The rules are:

  1. Link the person who nominated you to your blog post and let them know you answered their questions.
  2. Answer 11 questions given to you.
  3. Pass the award on to 11 other bloggers (I’m nominating 3 as all the blogs I follow or the bloggers who follow me have more than 300 followers)  and let them know they have been nominated.
  4. Create 11 questions for your nominees to answer
  5. Include the Award Badge in your post.

So, here are the answers to the 11 questions asked by http://grubbsncritters.com/ aboutann-2:

1. Highlight of this year

Being able to stand against the whole institute and ask for justice & more than that being able to get it. I have posted a blog regarding what happened

https://anujalipsa.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/stand-up-for-what-you-believe-in-even-if-it-means-standing-alone/

2.Where do you source your inspiration from whether it be in life or writing?

My dad has been my biggest inspiration. I have never met such a compassionate, kind, sensitive and benevolent person like him. I always dreamt to become like him one day.

Working in a cancer institute motivates you daily, especially small kids suffering from fatal cancer & still smiling & playing around.

3. What is your favourite colour and how does it inspire you?

I used to love different shades of blue as a kid but I don’t remember exactly when I became fond of the color Lavender. I suppose it gives me  a soothing feeling. It’s so calm & yet so exotic.I read somewhere that it is used to symbolize complex  Byzantine-like designs, rich gourmet food, and fine wine.

4. What is the last book that you read and how did it make you feel? 

“Chromosome 6” by Robin Cook. It may sound a little nerdy but being a science student, I can’t miss his books.This one was pending for a long time. I recently completed it. I loved every bit of it. How the story unfolds, the thrills, the suspense & the Oh so astounding climax.

5. Where were you born?

In a small city of India, known as the coal or the diamond city because of it’s coal mines.

6. Can you play an instrument of?

I tried piano and guitar sometime back but couldn’t continue it. I would definitely want to master them sometime.

7. Tea of Coffee?

It has to be Coffee, I love the smell, the taste. I can’t survive without it. (I admit, I’m a  coffee addict)

8. What one thing is guaranteed to make you cry?

The thought of losing any member of my family. It brings tear to my eyes anywhere & anytime. My parents & we, three siblings are one closely-knit family & we don’t know how to live without each other.

9. Favourite Quote or Book

My favorite quote is, “She did not need much, wanted very little. A kind word, sincerity, fresh air, clean water, a garden, kisses, books to read, sheltering arms, a cosy bed, and to love and be loved in return” – Starra Neely Blade

10. How many countries have you visited?

Unfortunately, I have not got the chance to visit any country but I would love to go to Germany and US sometime.

11. What is the word/phrase that you use way too much?

“Everything will be alright” I keep saying that to myself and to anyone I see in trouble.

I’m nominating the following people:

https://amrithaa80.wordpress.com/

https://theprettylittlelawyer.wordpress.com/

https://painkills2.wordpress.com/

Here are the questions to the nominees:

1. Where were you born?

2. What was a profession you used to want to be, but are not now?

3. What was your clique growing up?

4. If you could live one day over again, what day would it be?

5. What is the story behind your blog name?

6. Do you have a significant other? How did you meet?

7. What inspired you to start blogging?

8. Describe an interesting person/incident, you met/happened while traveling.

9. What is one place you could visit again and again?

10. Where do you call home and what do you enjoy most about being there?

11. What is your biggest fear?

Hope you will like my answers. Thank again Ann for the nomination. All the best to my nominees. Have fun!

PLEASE SHARE THIS! 

Please hear him…

It's All About HOPE!!!

http://www.ted.com/talks/kevin_breel_confessions_of_a_depressed_comic

This message needs to be shared on EVERYTHING social media form! It’s an amazing speech that everyone needs to hear about depression…. We, as a human race, MUST stop shaming those battling depression. And I can tell you, it IS a battle. We need to stop the shaming, stop the stigma and stop ignoring people who need your love and concern more than anyone else. I could go on and on, but I’ll let you hear it from him. He hits the proverbial nail on the head!!!

Thanks for watching and don’t forget to share!!!!

-mark

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